Posted by: changholt | October 27, 2020

How to Win friends and influence people… Around the world (during crazy times)

If you want succeed in business you need to succeed with people. Even though the world seems to be changing at an unprecedented rate. Disagreements between people, their tribes, and their beliefs are at all time high. One would think that social media and or connectedness would bring us closer, but it seems to be doing just the opposite, as we seem to be focussing on what makes us different rather that what makes us similar (or better yet celebrating those differences).

The best book I have read on this subject is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It’s old but it’s good! No matter who you are or where you live,  we all need to communicate and interact with our teammates, employees, partners, suppliers, and even clients at a higher rate. Below is a summary of the key points in the book – dealing with people and leading them. Views come and go, but principles are timeless.

How to deal with people:
• Don’t criticize, condemn or complain
• Give honest and sincere appreciation
• Arouse in the other person an eager want
• Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise
• Six Ways to Make People Like You
• Become genuinely interested in other people.
• Smile.
• Be a good listener.
• Encourage others to talk about themselves.
• Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
• Win people to your way of thinking
• The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
• Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say – you’re wrong.
• If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
• Begin in a friendly way.
• Get the other person saying “yes, yes.”
• Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
• Let the other person feel that the idea is his or her own.
• Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
• Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
• Appeal to nobler motives.
• Dramatize your ideas.
• Throw down a challenge.

Be a leader: 
• Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
• Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
• Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
• Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
• Let the other person save face.
• Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
• Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
• Make the fault feel easy to correct.
• Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Photo by Helena Lopes on

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